– Meanwhile, the world keeps on spinning –

As necessity is the mother of invention, so does it compel is to think laterally and take decisions that, normally, would not be included in our plans. But it is in these moments that the greatest insights can be reaped. Things being what they are, I found myself doing manual work in a warehouse. In the team there are about seven other men whose age is predominantly over 45, married, and with children. Most have been working in the same place for ten years and over.

To understand what it means, place yourself in a hot, stuffy, big concrete room, surrounded by boxes containing all sorts of things: BBQ charcoal next to compost (making the place very hot), brown goods, stationary, car parts, etc. With no windows to circulate air, and not a single natural object in sight, hours pass like limbo: you don’t think about the time, or anything else, but do your duty just so to earn your wage. There is no excitement, no novelty, and no marvel: it is a dead-end job for the sake of the monthly wage. You sort, stack, pack, day after day. In these men’s case, it’s year after year. They don’t talk much, not even during the 30-minute break. Do your job, period. To break the ice, I was asking them for how long was their employment with this company. The answer was always the same – a flat tone, with a dead ring to it.

They do it because they have a family to maintain. The pay is above the minimum wage, and the hours are pretty nice; it’s a nine-to-fiver, allowing time to go home and be with wife and kids, or work a part-time. What impressed me is that some of these men are truly intelligent – one is a supervisor, but he has worked in the same place for 13 years, and is still getting dirty like the rest of us. What makes people willing to sacrifice their lives like this, instead of looking for something more interesting?

The answer is as simple as it is fascinating – family life. Work is work is work, and for them that is where it stops. They need to do it in order to get the money needed to feed and clothe their family, and to pay the bills. For them, family comes first. It is what gives them the courage to get up every day for what is possibly the rest of their working life to go to a job to which they become desensitised and totally alienated. To be sure, there were many other employees who came and left. But these men – and here one sees a certain nobleness of spirit – decided that for them there are other things that matter more than what they are working. After eight hours all will be over, and they can then devote themselves to what makes them happy.

In their own way, these men teach me a lesson about the true nature of being in the world: Happiness is not a constant: one must work for it. Like lapping waves at the edge of the shore, it ebbs and returns, and one must, just as children do, be ready to enjoy the moment it comes back. The idea of a life that comes easy is just a story. The reality has a different telling. What is work then? It is just a job; just something one does in order to keep on enjoying the rest of what’s left to life.

And yet, the other side of the coin is has a dark shade to it. For those eight hours daily, 40 hours a week, are a considerable chunk of our lives. The men’s dead tone when answering my question is the give away: there is a longing for something more interesting. Their mistake is to stop where they are, without working to move on. Their reason for living – the family – ultimately became their own prison, their own limbo. And when something within the bubble they have made for themselves bursts – could be anything, from a child’s poor grades in school, to marital issues – there you see that there is no longer a human being, but a shadow of his former self.

But the world keeps on spinning.

One just has to ask himself only one question: which way do you want to face the dance the world spins to?

 

Fresh air

On Saturday, the Dalai Lama’s Facebook posted:

Feelings of anger and hatred arise from a mind that is troubled by dissatisfaction and discontent. So you can prepare to deal with such occasions by constantly working to build inner contentment and by cultivating kindness and compassion. This brings about a certain calmness of mind that can help prevent anger from arising in the first place.

In the midst of conflicting ideas and realities, alienation is a common theme. My latest run-in relates to a long-distance relationship. These are never easy, and at some point or another, one of the partners moves to where the other one lives. The cultural styles of thought are so powerful I’m even told that, if the couple is leaving overseas for over one year, then the relationship runs even greater risks of disintegrating.

Perceiving that in my country the labour market for what I am specializing in is very restricted, I was set to move over to where my companion lives. Visiting her resulted in a much cruder picture than I expected: even less employment opportunities, and with them, more insecurities relating to our relationship. Dissatisfaction and discontent were only the tip of the iceberg of what I was experience: I wanted to succeed – no matter what. I did not want to loose – definitely not my companion, and neither face or stagnation.

In retrospection it has to be said that the anger I was feeling at the situation was legitimate – if analysed under a very limiting lens. For in placing too much importance on the ego, I was removing myself from the possibility of seeing a possibly wider picture. To love physical proximity helps – but it is not necessary needed. The story of a husband whose job takes him to missions from which he might never return comes to mind. The soldier married his long-standing companion, who is psychologically impaired, in order for her to have a secure place where to live should he die on the frontlines. They rarely have the occasion to see one another – but this does not stop them from showing their mutual care.

Thus in life, and in love, holding still while balancing our inner peace is one of the greatest accomplishments we can ever hope for. I am still with my partner. Yet I learnt what she, in her wisdom, has told me times before: we do not need to think like that anymore. It would not be a bad idea, then, to open the door – ready not just to peek through, but especially to go beyond our accustomed thinking processes.